Cultivating good habits as a way of expressing our gratitude to Amma, part two

By Swami Ramakrishnananda Puri

When we stand before great Masters, we become silent with awe and admiration. Suppose we are standing in front of the great Himalayas. Seeing their height and greatness, we will feel overwhelmed with awe and even fear. We become silent and humble. We feel that we are totally insignificant in the presence of such great phenomena, or in the presence of a great Master. Prostrating at the Master's feet represents humility. In return, the Guru turns us into someone like Him or Her. That is the greatness of the Guru. In worldly life, an officer may not want his subordinate to become greater than him. But a Master is different. The Master wants all of his disciples to be like Him, or to become even greater. This is because a Master's love is selfless; it is not based on conditions. This is not the case in worldly life.

What we can do is just be grateful to Amma for having come into our lives, even though Amma doesn't want anything from us. This gratitude means being conscious of every little act of kindness towards us. Someone once said that gratitude is the means by which we draw the forgiveness and mercy of God towards ourselves. When we feel grateful to somebody, there is no need to compare what he has done for us with what we have done for him. Forget about what we have done. Remember only the good things that others have been done to us. All our spiritual practices are done to eliminate the ego. The ego can creep in even while we are doing good things.

I remember a story about a priest. One day he had a special experience that made him feel God's grace. That evening, as he was standing before the shrine, he prayed to God: "Oh Lord, I am really grateful to you. Your compassion and grace are so great. I am nothing. I am an insignificant creature in your presence." As the priest was praying thus, the caretaker overheard his words. He too started praying, "Oh Lord, I am nothing. I am an insignificant creature on whom you are showering your compassion." The priest's assistant nudged the priest and said, "Look who thinks he is insignificant and nothing! He speaks to God just like you." Even though the caretaker was also expressing his gratitude to God, the priest thought, "How dare he say that!"

What the priest felt was not gratitude. Amma says that gratitude should be expressed in our words, deeds and thoughts. But the ego is very subtle. All our spiritual practices are aimed at eliminating the ego.

The advice that Amma gives on this matter can be classified into three categories, just as Lord Krishna classified it in the Bhagavad Gita. The first category is yagna -- worshipping God or praying to God. The second is danam -- charity. The third is tapas -- penance.

Yagna means worshipping or praying to God purely out of gratitude, without expecting any favour. After all, we owe our very lives to God. To express our gratitude, to repay our indebtedness, Amma says we have to worship God. Worship or yagna can take different forms: chanting the 108 or 1000 names, meditation, chanting the mantras or reading the holy texts.

The second category is charity or danam. Amma says that it doesn't have to be in the form of money. If you are rich, you can help others with money. For example, if you know of children who are not able to go to school for want of money or if you know of some orphans, you can help them financially. Perhaps you can't give any money, but you have a skill or talent. With that, you can teach those children something. Or if you are physically strong, you can do some service in a temple, church, hospital or home for the elderly. Thus, charity can take the form of our skills, talents, physical strength or money. Amma says that these are also ways of expressing our gratitude to God.

The third category is tapas or penance. Tapas means heat. Whatever creates heat in us is tapas. Struggle is also tapas. Struggle implies striving towards something good, not something bad. It is easy to perform bad actions. Good habits, like controlling one's anger, being patient, not judging or finding fault with others, involve a lot of struggle. This is because we are not used to doing all these things, and now we want to do them.

Suppose I am used to drinking coffee at seven o'clock and meditating after that. One day my wife forgets to bring it at seven. I may get angry. I postpone my meditation to 7:30, then 8:00, and then 8:30. But she has forgotten my coffee. And there goes my meditation. Instead of waiting for my wife to bring me my coffee, I could go and make a better cup of coffee, because if I make it for myself, I will do it very well. Or why can't I meditate and then drink the coffee? There is nothing wrong in drinking a cup of coffee. But instead of waiting for the coffee to arrive, let me start my meditation. But don't meditate on coffee!

Or let's take the case of taking a shower early in the morning. Taking an early morning shower is also tapas. We always feel fresh afterwards. So, before meditating or doing our spiritual practices, we should take a shower. Lord Krishna says that there are three ways of avoiding our early morning shower, based on the predominant quality in us. One is the tamasic way. Lazy people will think, "Why should I take a shower early in the morning? There's always water in the tap -- 24 hours a day; I can always take a shower in the evening." Rajasic people will say: "I am a very busy person. I have so many appointments. If I take an early morning shower, I may fall sick or catch a cold, so I will do it later." There is also a sattvic way of avoiding a shower early in the morning: taking a sponge bath. Just wet a cloth and rub it on your body!

Thus, even with a bath, we can cultivate tapas, if taking an early morning shower involves a struggle for us. Our intellect says, "It is good. Amma says that we should shower early in the morning." But our mind resists: it says one thing, but our conviction and discrimination say something else. Eventually, the mind wins most of the time. That is why Amma says that tapas can start with simple things like drinking coffee and taking a morning shower. We can start our tapas with coffee. "From tomorrow onwards, if I don't get my coffee, even if it's seven o'clock, I will go and meditate. And after meditation, I will drink my coffee."

Amma says that all of us have to practice some sort of tapas in our lives, because it's a challenge for us. This is the only way we can tame our mind. Whatever instructions Amma has given us can be categorised into these three classes: yagnam, danam and tapas. We are all doing spiritual practices, no doubt. But if you want to get the full benefit of that, some discipline is also necessary.

You must have heard of the ayurvedic system of medicine. More than the medicine, the discipline we are supposed to follow after taking the medicine is very important. Certain foods have to be avoided if the ayurvedic medicine is to have an effect. They'll tell us to eat only those items that we don't want to eat or which we don't like at all, for example bitter gourd. In the same way, we should also practise yagnam, danam and tapas if we really want to get the full benefit of our spiritual practices.

We may spend a whole day listening to discourses about Amma and thinking about Amma only. That is a good thing as we rarely get such an opportunity. But tomorrow we may think that it's okay even if we don't meditate. However, if we want to have the full benefit, Amma says, "Whatever we do, whatever we say, whatever we think -- all of these things should prepare us for meditation." Otherwise, it is like taking 10 steps forward and then moving back. So, whatever we do in life, even if it happens to be a worldly job, we should turn it into a spiritual endeavour through our attitude. Amma says that a 50-50 approach will not give us the full benefit.

I remember a story that Amma narrated. There was once a businessman. While on a business trip, he had to go to many places and one day he got stuck in a remote village. That night he stayed in a small hotel. As he had been travelling for two or three weeks, he missed his wife, children and especially the delicious chicken curry his wife used to prepare. He was thinking, "Oh, how peaceful and happy I was when I ate chicken curry prepared by my wife." As he continued thinking about it, his desire for chicken curry became overwhelming. He looked in the Yellow Pages. To his surprise, he found that there was a good restaurant just a few blocks away from the hotel where he was staying. Since it was already late, he didn't want to take a chance. He ran until he reached the restaurant. There, he looked at the menu and saw the exact dish he had been thinking about. No sooner had he ordered that dish than the waiter served it. He was surprised by the size of the serving also. For such a reasonable price, the dish contained so many pieces of chicken breast. He thought, "Oh, I must tell all my friends to come and eat here." As he had not eaten much lunch that day, he was really hungry. He started attacking the food immediately. Within a short time, he finished almost all of the curry.

Then he realised, "They gave me so many pieces of chicken, but it didn't taste like chicken. It tasted like something else, like steak." He called the waiter and asked him, "What is in this dish?" The waiter replied, "Just chicken breast, nothing else." But the man was not satisfied with the answer. He rushed to the manager and asked in a raised voice, "I asked for chicken curry but they gave me something else. Not even a single piece tasted like chicken!" The manager said, "No, sir. It is definitely chicken, nothing else." The businessman said, "I don't believe it. I am going to complain to the authorities!" Then, the manager said in a low voice, "Sir, if you have any complaint, I will refund your money. You do not have to pay." He called the cook who had prepared the dish and asked for an explanation. The cook replied, "It is true, sir, that we ran out of chicken today. All I could find was one very small chicken. But there were so many orders. And the only other thing available was a big buffalo. So I cooked the dish in a ratio of one-to-one." The manager asked, "What do you mean, one-to-one?" The cook replied, "Fifty-fifty, one-to-one. I put in one chicken and one buffalo." No wonder the curry tasted like steak! One chicken means five pieces, maybe. One buffalo is a thousand pieces! So how could the dish have tasted like chicken?

Likewise, we may spend one day here (at the ashram), and the next day we do whatever we want. Whatever benefit we get from doing spiritual practices will not be fully realised, just as the taste of one chicken will be overwhelmed by the taste of the steak. To get the maximum benefit, Amma says that it is important for all of us to cultivate some sort of discipline or tapas in our lives: fasting, keeping a vow of silence, doing more meditation or chanting more mantras -- it can take any form, depending on what suits us. Try to practise at least one discipline every year.

This year, I heard that the motto for Amma's birthday celebrations in India is to cultivate a good habit each day. "Today I am not going to talk harshly to anybody. I am going to talk to everybody with a smile on my face." This is one vow. The next day, "I am not going to find fault with anybody."

Many other good habits will follow that one good habit. If one ant goes somewhere, other ants will follow it. Likewise, one good habit is enough to make other habits follow suit. In order to avoid the benefits of our spiritual practices from fading into oblivion, let us make a commitment today that "this year, I will try to cultivate one good habit." Not that we don't have any good habits, but we always want to cultivate just one more.

Today is Navaratri, an auspicious day to make a good resolution. Navaratri means nine nights of celebration to worship the Divine Mother or Goddess. The nine nights are divided into three sets of three days each. The first three days are for worshipping Durga, the next three days are for worshipping Lakshmi. Today is part of the second set of days, and coincides with Lakshmi puja. Lakshmi stands for auspiciousness, all the good qualities and the abundance in our lives. Let us therefore make the resolve: "I am going to cultivate a good value in my life." Just one more good value.

In short, gratitude to Amma should be expressed through our actions, words and thoughts. Only then can we start to repay Amma for what She has given to us. The most important thing she has given us is a glimpse into our own Self or the Truth, by gaining which, there is nothing more to be gained. So let us be grateful to Amma and remember Her in our every action. Amma doesn't want anything from us. After a flower has fully blossomed, whoever happens to come near the flower will receive the gift of the flower's fragrance. Likewise, Amma is full and complete. She is overflowing with love, compassion and grace. Whoever goes near her will naturally receive all of this. In Amma's case, you don't even need to go near Her; you can be far away physically. Just as the wind carries the fragrance of a flower, by thinking of Amma, we will experience Her love, compassion and grace even if we are far away from her physically. Let us receive as much of this love, compassion and grace as we can. And the best way to become instruments fit enough to receive Amma's blessings and grace is by being willing to practice what Amma advises us.

Let us all pray to Amma to give us the strength of mind to make this commitment this year, to cultivate one extra good habit. Thus, we can progress toward the goal of Self-realisation.