The key to Happiness, part two

By Swami Vidyamritananda Puri

To experience true happiness, we must know how to manage the mind. We can get this knowledge only from a Satguru. A Satguru is not one who just preaches. There are many great orators, but they may not be able to remove our sorrows. As Amma says, only one who is free from sorrow can remove the sorrow of others. Only one who is free can make others free. Amma is such a one. She can help us control our minds and help us lead peaceful lives. If we share our problems with Her, Amma will provide remedies that will rid us of our problems.

There are a couple of examples to illustrate this point. One of the swamis in our ashram used to work in a bank before joining the ashram. He was short-tempered and often used to get angry with the bank's customers. He was not able to control his temper. As a result, his relationship with clients became bad. He wanted to reform himself. One day, he told Amma, "I get angry very easily. I want to get rid of this habit of getting angry." Amma gave him a simple piece of advice. She said, "Whenever a person comes to you in the bank, imagine that Amma has sent him or her to you. Suppose Amma sends a person to you, will you get angry with that person?" He replied, "No, how can I get angry with a person when Amma Herself sends that person to me? I will respect that person, and receive him or her with love, considering the person to be Amma's representative." He began to practise what Amma had suggested. Whenever someone came to see him, he imagined that that person was Amma's representative. He would think, "Amma has sent this person to me. I have to help." This way, he started respecting and loving his clients, and was thus able to change his character and life very easily. Such remedies, appropriate for a particular individual, can be given only by a Satguru like Amma.

Once, there was a king who was also very short-tempered. If somebody told him something he did not like, he would become angry immediately. His wrath was such that he would not hesitate to kill that person. The king was aware of this short-coming and wanted to get rid of it. One day, he went to his Guru and explained his problem to him. The Guru told him, "Whenever someone insults or criticises you, give that person some gift or pay him or her some money." The king was surprised to hear this. He asked, "You mean I have to reward people for insulting me?" The Guru replied, "Yes. Don't question Me. Just do as I say." The king humbly acquiesced. Thereafter, whenever someone insulted or criticised him, the king would immediately hand that person a reward. Years passed in this way. One day, the Guru summoned the king and said, "You can stop rewarding those who criticise you." The king did as he was told. When somebody insulted him the next time, the king started laughing. In fact, he did not feel any anger. This was the result of his Guru's training. Even the person who had criticised the king was surprised. He asked the king, "Aren't you angry with me for insulting you?" The king replied with a smile, "No. You see, for the last few years, I have been rewarding those who insulted me. Now you are giving me insults free. That is why I am happy."

Those who have seen Amma will notice at least one difference between Her and people like us: She loves everyone, regardless of that person's character or status. Whether the person is rich or poor, virtuous or unrighteous, genial or anti-social, Amma loves him or her anyway. Why is She able to do this? It is because Amma understands everyone. This is the secret behind love. You can love someone only when you understand him or her fully. Amma understands everyone perfectly. She never ever misunderstands anyone or anything. And where there is understanding, there is acceptance, love and joy. That is why wherever Amma is, there a festival is. Every moment is a celebration in Amma's presence.

All the problems in the world, whether between individuals or nations, is due to a lack of understanding. Terrorist acts such as the attack on the World Trade Center in New York, the war in Afghanistan, the poverty in various parts of the world, misguided youth… all these are expressions of misunderstanding. This ignorance can be removed only by a Guru like Amma. What exactly does Amma ask us to do? She says we have to nurture bhakti (devotion) based on principles, or "tatvattile bhakti." All of us are devotees; yet, we face problems. Some people ask Amma, "We have been doing spiritual practices for 10 or 20 years, but we still experience so many problems in our lives. What is the reason?" Our devotion is not based on spiritual principles or tatva. One important principle is that God is present within us in the form of peace, happiness and joy. We have to understand, imbibe and practise this and other teachings of Amma. Only then can devotion alleviate the problems in our lives.

With specific reference to the youth, many, especially the elders, criticise them. They say that the younger generation are walking the wrong path, and that they do not obey their parents or respect their elders. We are ready to point out their faults and mistakes. But we do not reflect upon the faults of the older generation. If you ask me, the elders and parents are the ones who are to blame. Children and other youth do not care as much for what you tell them as they do for what you do. They do not care about your words. They care about your actions. If you tell your child, "Don't lie," but are dishonest yourself, he or she will be confused. He or she will not respect your words thereafter. Therefore, we have to practise spiritual values in your lives. Then, without our telling them, the children will start practising these values. Preaching alone will not do.

I heard about an incident that illuminates this point. Once, a man went to a barber's to get a hair-cut. He brought a child of about four or five years along with him. After having his hair cut, the man told the barber, "Please cut this boy's hair now. I have to go outside. By the time you have finished, I will be back." And off he went. The barber proceeded to cut the boy's hair. After some time, the barber asked the boy, "Where is your father? He has been away for a long time." The boy replied, "Father? He is not my father. He is a stranger to me. I was playing on the street when that man came to me and asked me to accompany him, saying that I could get a hair-cut." Can you expect this child to be sincere in his life? Can you expect him to be faithful and truthful in his life? In a similar way, we mislead our children, but expect them to be truthful and obedient, even though we do not practise those principles.

I have heard another story that exemplifies the same point. It is about a politician. Every politician dreams that his child becomes a politician, either an MP, a minister or the Prime Minister. Such were the dreams of this politician too, who hoped that his son would become a great politician some day. He started training his son rigorously. During one such training session, he asked his son to climb a ladder and jump down from the top. The ladder was very long, about 25 or 30 feet in length. The boy, after climbing the ladder, became afraid. He said, "I may break my hands or feet." The father replied, "Why do you worry? I am here. I will catch you." After much persuasion, the son jumped down and broke his legs. The father just stood aside without doing anything. Then he told his son who was crying, "Let this be a lesson. Don't trust anyone, even your own father." Such are the lessons we teach our children! And we expect them to turn into great individuals who speak only the truth and who practise non-violence. How will they emulate such noble practices when we do not demonstrate them in our own lives? We should express the noble values and principles in our actions. Then we can lead peaceful lives. If we do so, the younger generation, who are the future of society, will also lead peaceful and pleasant lives.