Patience, please!

By Swami Paramatmananda Puri

We have heard from Mahatmas like Amma that we don't have to be satisfied with our ordinary mundane state of consciousness. They say that there is a state of intense, supremely blissful awareness, even omniscience, that is attainable by everyone, every human being.

No amount of worldly greatness can give that state to us. It is gained only through spiritual practice and grace. Spiritual classes, workshops, meditation, fasting, silence, puja and japa are all means to elevate our consciousness from its preoccupation with mundane affairs to that sublime plane of Divine Light. But the greatest means is the company of a Self Realized soul. By basking in their presence, our physical, mental and spiritual impurities will be gradually burned away, revealing the pristine Truth within us. Even though that truth is within us -- nay, it is our very own Self -- most of us are very far away from experiencing it as it is. The state that Mother wants us to aim for is one of perfect stillness, peace, shanti -- the peace that radiates from Her. The restless mind prevents us from attaining that.

There is a saying: "So near yet so far." What could be closer than our Self? But that Self has been described as immortal, unchanging, blissful and all-powerful. Surely this is not the same as the self that we experience, the body and extremely limited and restless personality or ego. The difference is like that between night and day. Such being the case, it is impossible for us to know the way to that divine condition without a guide who has reached there and who will show us the way.

Yet we expect a relationship with Amma that will be very similar to the rest of our relationships. Even though we may expect it to be so, the Guru knows what we need in order to evolve towards our Self. Amma does indeed act like an ordinary loving person and a mother towards us, but there is a lot more to Her actions than mere friendliness. An ordinary mother wants her child to be healthy and prosperous in the world, but usually she knows or cares little for their spiritual realization. Amma knows fully well that anything we may gain in this world will leave us at the moment of death.

She has Her own ways of improving us spiritually. It seems that the greatest, most common way is by giving us plenty of opportunities to exercise our patience. This quality is particularly important and needed by those of us who are raised and live in the technological Western world. Modern life seems to be about speed, enjoyment and comfort. We got to great lengths to make sure that we do not have to undergo any inconvenience, delay or boredom in our lives. We find waiting and adjusting very painful. Our minds are like children's minds, impatient and impetuous. All this impatience leads to uncontrollable anger. This anger can be seen everyday at school, in the workplace, when shopping and on the road. The other day I heard that passengers on planes who have not been served fast enough sometimes threaten the stewardesses with knives or even beat them up, and that such incidents are increasing. Even so-called spiritual people can have a lot of anger.

One day a friend came to a Mahatma, and said, "A famous devotee has come who is very much revered by everybody in this neighbourhood. Let us go and see him." The Mahatma agreed, and they walked to the devotee's hut, greeting him upon their arrival by bowing down. The devotee invited them to be seated. After a few minutes silence, the Mahatma asked, "Have you any fire? I need some." The devotee said, "No, I have no fire here at present." After a few minutes silence, the Mahatma asked, "Have you any fire? I need some." The devotee said, "No, I have no fire here at present." After a few minutes of silence, the holy man again asked the devotee, "O sadhu, have you any fire?" "I have already told you that I have none," said the devotee, slightly annoyed. But this did not seem to make any impression on the Mahatma. He again asked the man, "Sir, I have great need of some fire, so let me have some."

At this, the devotee became really irritated and replied with great heat, "O foolish man! Please stop asking me for fire! Can't you understand what I say? I have told you three times that I do not have any fire. Isn't that enough? Or will you go on repeating the same stupid question over and over again?"

The Mahatma kept silent while the devotee scolded him. Then he said, "Brother, I really need some fire. Are you absolutely sure that you don't have any?"

Now thoroughly enraged, the sadhu stood up and picked up a stick. He beat the Mahatma with it until the stick broke. The Mahatma then smiled and said, "My question is now answered. I saw and smelled some smoke when I entered your presence, so I knew that there was fire here. And now, as anyone can see, the fire has blazed up and is burning with angry flames. Yet strangely enough, you still maintain that you have none."

Understanding now that the Mahatma was referring to his anger, the sadhu immediately calmed down. Hanging his head in shame, he aid in a humble voice, "Thank you, Mahatmaji, for your lesson. I will take it to heart and try to mend my ways."

In order to purify our mind, we must first know what is there in our mind to purify. This is the functioning of the Guru's grace. The Guru will let us know what is inside us either through his mere presence or through circumstances. Mother knows that we are extremely impatient and have a lot of anger and sometimes pride as well. She uses "crowds" as one of the main means to purify our minds. We must wait a long time in order to have darshan. That itself gives us a change to develop patience, humility and devotion. Mother does not just make us be patient, but Herself is the embodiment of patience. Look how She patiently sits till the last person has had darshan during Devi Bhava. We have all seen Her come to the hall at 4:45 pm and leave only at 7:30 am the next morning. Who can or will do such a thing, giving up sleep and comfort day after day? Who else can listen to problems hour after hour? Who else can smile continuously day after day? Who else can travel throughout India and around the world eight months of the year, keeping up an impossible schedule? If we can't learn a little patience from such an Avatar of Patience, we are really hopeless cases.

Mother tells of seeing people waiting all day in line at the county hospital in India in order to see a doctor. The same is the case here. For their health, people are willing to wait and to be persistent, for any length of time.

But for making spiritual progress, there is no patience. Many of us want it right now. People come to Mother and insist that they should have darshan immediately. They have to go somewhere urgently. What benefit will they get?

This impatient attitude is the fruit of the modern way of life. Before things were so fast and easy, man was a lot more patient and less angry. He was also willing to do a lot more for his spiritual progress. There is a true story about a man in Mysore who lost interest in worldly life. He didn't know what was wrong with him or what to do about it. He heard that there was a saint in Madras about 800 miles away and thought that he could consult him about his problem. He had no money, so he walked all the way, begging as he went along.

Finally he reached Madras and went to the saint's ashram. The swami had left for Calcutta by train a few days back. The man thanked the ashramites for the information and started walking to Calcutta - a 1,500 mile journey. On finally reaching there after a couple of months, he came to know that the swami had left for Hardwar in the foothills of the Himalayas. He continued his walk and reached there after a few more months of great hardship. In Hardwar, he came to know that the saint had recently gone into the Himalayas to Gangotri.

This devotee walked all the way to Gangotri and finally found the swami there. He told the swami about his problem. The swami said, "You want to renounce even though you don't know it. Go back to your native place, become a monk, and serve the poor people there." The man immediately walked all the way back to Mysore, about 2,000 miles, took the vows of renunciation, and started many projects to help the poor. He became a famous swami in the area.

See the patience and sincerity of this. man. What is ours in comparison? Without patience, one cannot experience the Self as it is. Instead of getting angry when there is a wait or a bottleneck, let us use such situations to practice patience. Let us think of Mother's example of supreme patience and try to follow in Her footsteps. Then we will find every difficulty becoming an opportunity for spiritual practice or sadhana. When we become as patient as Mother, we have reached the goal. Patience is Brahman, the Absolute