Amma in my life

Dr. Prem Nair, medical director of AIMS, Amma's super-specialty hospital in Kochin, relates some of his experiences with Mother.

In 1989 I was working as a physician in Gastroenterology at the University of Southern California, in the United States. I had all the material comforts in the world, and had no interest in spirituality whatsoever. One day my brother telephoned me from India. He had a problem with his neck, but the physicians could do nothing to help him. I suggested that he come to the U.S. and be treated here.

He said there was no need, because Amma would take care of it. I asked him who Amma was. He said that She was a saint. Being a sceptic, I asked him what on earth Her being a saint had to do with his neck problem?

My brother said, "Ramakrishna worshipped Kali in the form of a statue. And now Kali has come to us in a living form." When he said this, something very strange happened to me. It was as if some molecular rearrangement took place and my whole being was transformed in less than a moment. As soon as my brother put the phone down, I booked a flight to India. During my five years in private practice I had never taken a day off, and now, to the astonishment of my wife and children, I just left without even telephoning my office to say that I wouldn't be in the next day. I had no idea what I was doing; my whole being was focused on Amma.

When I arrived at the Ashram in India with just a small bag slung over my shoulder, I was in a daze. The first person I saw was Swami Amritaswarupananda. He asked me where I had come from. I told him that I had flown in from America, that I had never met Amma, and that I had to see Her. Swamiji sat down with me and told me the whole of Amma's life story. I will never forget it. He was so moved when he spoke that tears were streaming down his face. When he had finished the story, he led me to the darshan hut where I sat down and waited. A few minutes later Amma walked in -- the embodiment of love and bliss. I sat next to Her, still in a daze. Finally She called me for darshan. I told Her that I wanted to stay with Her for some time. "I will see you when I come to America," She said.

So the next day I flew back to California. My wife was bewildered and furious at my strange and sudden absence. I came into the house with armfuls of books and cassette tapes that I had brought from the Ashram. I put on a cassette with Amma singing bhajans. My wife, who, like me, had never in her life been even remotely interested in anything spiritual, was mesmerised by the songs and by Amma's voice. She suddenly broke down in a torrent of tears, and in that moment she was transformed as rapidly as I had been. From that day onwards, my wife and I, who had led very materialistic lives, were like two different people. Everything that had interested us before suddenly seemed trivial. Our whole lives were focused only on Amma. My wife flew with our children, Priya and Krishna Unni, to India and only came back once a year, just before Amma came to America. Then we were graced to have Amma living in our house. When Amma wasn't in the U.S., Radhika and the children stayed at the Ashram in India, travelling everywhere with Amma.

One day I discovered a large, rock-hard lump in my groin. I was diagnosed with lymphoma. The doctors told me I would have to have an operation and a bone-marrow transplant. I telephoned Amma in India. Amma said She was surprised, because She hadn't seen any such problems in my future at all. "Anyway," She said, "You go ahead and do what needs to be done." So I had surgery and preparations were made for a bone-marrow transplant. By Amma's Grace, all the lymph nodes which had grown to massive sizes turned out to be completely free of tumours. The doctors said they were astonished because that type of growth was usually a clear sign of lymphoma. In subsequent tests no evidence was ever found of the disease.

In 1994 we moved permanently to Amritapuri. When I moved to the ashram, my intention was to live in the Ashram and to travel with Amma, just as my wife and children were doing. I was aware of Amma's plans to build a hospital. I was under the illusion that this would be another charitable hospital like so many others, providing low cost, low-technology care with a bare minimum infrastructure, and that it would only require my part-time attention. Little did I know what was in store for me.

I arrived at the hospital site on a bright, sunny day to find that it was a backwater site of about 22 acres, which had slowly and laboriously been filled with mud brought from a nearby hillside. At the time, there were only a handful of people at the project site and several trucks dumping mud, followed by compaction. This continued for many months. Subsequently, piling began with huge drills on tripods. It seemed an endless task. Over the next year the piling work progressed "slowly and painfully." On careful scrutiny, the work being done was truly phenomenal. Massive 30 metre-deep steel columns were being drilled into the ground. Enormous amounts of cement and steel were being poured into the drill holes to support a structure that I could not imagine at the time.

Slowly and steadily the super-structure rose above ground, like a giant rising to its feet. A mammoth structure covering over 600,000 square feet of space began to take shape. What was incredible about the whole construction was that, without any commercial contracts, the Ashram construction crew made bricks on site, brought granite from nearby quarries, broke it down into small pebbles, and built concrete columns, beams and brick partitions; and eventually everything was plastered and painted. Everything was completed with extraordinary skill and perfection. All the metal fabrications (windows, doors, electrical cabinets, steel tables, chairs, etc.) have been done by the Ashram brahmacharis with remarkable skill and perseverance. The woodwork is so perfect in its design and execution that it can only be described as a miracle. It is a labour of love; the perfection that is the result of selfless service. Amma's Divine creative energy must have flowed through her children to create such a perfect edifice.

Throughout the project, Amma's invisible presence was keenly evident. I suddenly found myself at a rapidly growing construction site, having to make decisions on matters that I knew nothing about. Amma provided all the help I needed when it was needed the most. Help came unsought from all quarters; offered selflessly by noble individuals whose only interest was to serve Amma in any capacity. Architectural assistance came from all over the globe just when I was burdened by seemingly unsolvable design questions, such as to how the different hospital functionalities could be combined in several critical areas.

I was struggling for a whole year, carefully researching the most economical way of equipping the hospital with mostly local equipment with a considerable compromise in functionality. However, when the time came to equip the hospital, Amma again came to my rescue. The best and latest medical equipment from all over the world was donated. The technological and diagnostic capabilities of AIMS today is equal to the best medical institutions in the world.

I have always had a certain level of discomfort regarding most hospitals in India, owing to their rather poor infrastructure. Bare cement walls and metal beds are often felt to be adequate for a hospital. Several important aspects of a hospital are generally neglected, partly due to cost containment, and partly because there is a lack of recognition of the importance these factors play in the quality of medical care. Factors such as airflow, temperature, humidity, dust, CO2 regulation, bacterial filters, readily accessible oxygen, control vacuum systems, compressed air, laminar flow, clean rooms, a network data management system, an adequate telephone/paging system, fire-fighting system, and building automation are generally not seriously considered. During the construction of the hospital, Amma has provided specialists in each of these areas, just at the right time.

The tireless and selfless effort of these people have provided AIMS with an outstanding infrastructure, which will greatly enhance patient care and reduce risks in countless ways.

Last but not least, outstanding physicians, nurses, technicians and other critical support personnel have mysteriously appeared at our doorstep, offering their services in running different areas of the hospital. A large army of volunteers from all over the world, who have been moved by Amma's message of love, compassion and selfless service, are steadily coming in to provide much needed service and to defray the cost of serving the poor.

In closing, I would like to offer my heartfelt pranams to my Beloved Amma, for giving me this great opportunity to witness her Divine Power at work.

(Dr. Prem Nair was born and brought up in Mumbai. After finishing medical college he went to the United States where he took a Post Graduate Degree in Medicine and subsequently specialised in Internal Medicine, Gastroenterology, and Liver Diseases at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. He was Professor of Medicine at the USC College of Medicine, and directed the Gastroenterology Program at the Hospital of the Good Samaritan in Los Angeles. In 1994 Dr. Prem resigned and moved to Amritapuri, Kollam. He is presently the Medical Director at AIMS.)